The communities in the locality were in lockdown after Straffen's almost nonchalant escape and his presumed murder of Linda Bowyer.
Smithy deserves a call-up, and the midfield would be greatly enhanced by Lee Bowyer, but it ain't going to happen.
Ian Harte swung over a super diagonal cross from the left to pick out Bowyer in the Barca box.
Throughout his life Bowyer remained a faithful follower of the Baptist church.
Goals in either half from Lee Bowyer and Mark Viduka effectively kick-started United's Premiership campaign in a quality contest at Elland Road.